Getting Directions on the Road

Well this week I was feeling like a pinball. One week in Northern California and the next in South Carolina. Oh and next week is Oklahoma City. But this is a rare occasion of extremes. South Carolina….Oh a beautiful place with the tall trees, rolling hills and Blue highway patrol lights that can probably be seen from the Space Shuttle. First what is the Shade of blue they use. The human eye is very sensitive to that color because I don’t live there and the instant you see them lights panic sets in. Well that and the 4 billion candle watts of brightness. Luckily I didn’t see them directly in my rear view mirror while I was there. I did have my BBQ while I was there and yes it was as good as I remembered. It was a nightmare trying to find it though. When I checked into the hotel I asked the attendant where the best BBQ was. She told me Antleys and she would print me off directions. I took the directions and left. When I got back in the car I read the instructions. Quote “Exit the hotel parking lot, go straight through 3 red lights (including the one at the hotel) and just past the 3rd light it is behind the Bank of America.” Sound easy. My first problem was exiting the hotel parking lot. It is on the corner of an intersection. So which exit? I had a 50/50 chance and jumped on it. 1 light, 2 lights, 3 lights (I am now in nowhere land), 4th light, 5th light and nothing. I even checked my DumDum (TomTom) for restaurants which will give me the 20 closest, Nothing. I turned around thinking that my 50/50 was wrong. I got tired of looking so I ate at Red Robins. That night I looked it up on the internet and wrote down the address. After work I was starved, no breakfast and no lunch. I throw the address into DumDum and found the place. Here is what the directions should have said (Not even close). Exit the front of the Hotel and proceed through “7” red lights and turn right at the 7th one. Proceed 1.1 miles then turn left. Proceed 300 yards and turn right. Your destination is 100 yards on the right. Getting directions in a new area is a hilarious situation. No wonder men refuse to stop for directions. I was once in TN and I arrived to the customers at lunchtime so I had an hour to kill before I could get in. I was in dire need of a haircut so I stopped at a convenience store (in the middle of nowhere land) for directions. They said yes there is several downtown. I asked where the town was they were talking about. They said “oh I am sorry you mentioned you were from out of state. Just go to the square and go straight at the first light and there is one on the right.” COOL, now where is the damn square people, just point and I will find it. Enough ranting, at least I have DumDum now.